Eastbound & Downton Abbey -- and other bad mashups

Mashoops -- mashups that should never, ever happen:

Eastbound & Downton Abbey: Kenny Powers arrives at Downton to take Mr. Bates’ place as the Earl of Grantham’s valet. Hilarity ensues.

Fat Albert Nobbs: Glenn Close had to put on a LOT of weight for this role.

Two and a Half Mentalists: Charlie Sheen returns to TV as a psychic with tiger blood and Adonis DNA. The show features plots you cannot process with a normal brain, and if you try your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

2 Broke Girls With Dragon Tattoos: Max and Caroline channel their inner Lisbeth Salander at the Williamsburg Diner. Hilarity and broken dishes ensue.

Hugoing Rogue: Sarah Palin’s worst nightmare becomes reality: She finds herself living in France.

Midnight in Paris, Texas: A writer who idolizes 1920’s Paris is instead transported to a dumpy Texas town where he is forced to hang out with a depressed Harry Dean Stanton.

How I Met Your Mothra: Godzilla recounts to his children how he met his nemesis, a gigantic moth-like creature who always interrupts him when he tries to destroy Tokyo.

McMillan and the Good Wife: Julianna Margulies returns to her old job as a litigator after finding out that her marriage to Rock Hudson was a sham.

Breakin’ Bad 2: Electric Boogaloo: Walter White really goes off the deep end and tries to become a professional break dancer.

No Country For Old Mad Men: Anton Chiguhr joins Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and when he brings his cattle gun to client meetings, hilarity ensues.

UpChuck: By tying thousands of balloons to his house, the computer geek turned secret agent takes off on a soaring adventure, but gets violently airsick.

Twilight Saga: Newt Moon: Are you Camp Edward, Camp Jacob, or Camp Newt?

There Will Be Blue Bloods: A family of New York cops bands together when a ruthless oilman, played by Daniel Day Lewis, shows up and drinks their father’s milkshake.

The Iron Lady Gaga: Meryl Streep dons the meat dress.

The Walking Dead Poets Society: Zombie poets invade Welton Academy.