Samuel L. Jackson as Charlie Brown
Pam Grier as Lucy
Robert DeNiro as Linus
Bridget Fonda as Peppermint Patty
Michael Keaton as Pig-Pen
Lisa Gay Hamilton as Charlie Brown’s little sister, Sheronda
Robert Forster as Max Cherry, Cherry Bail Bonds
Chris Tucker as Snoopy
Halloween night. Lucy, Charlie Brown, Schroeder, Patty, and Pig-Pen are all in costume, trick-or-treating.
Lucy: I got 5 pieces of candy!
Schroeder: I got a chocolate bar!
Patty: I got a quarter!
Charlie Brown: I got a Glock, motherfucker!
Charlie Brown is raking leaves in his yard. Lucy enters carrying a football.
Lucy: Say, Charlie Brown. I’ve got a football. How about practicing a few placekicks? I’ll hold the ball, and you come running and kick it!
Charlie Brown: Look, bitch. My ass might be dumb, but I am not a dumb ass.
Lucy: Oh, come on, Charlie Brown. I’ll hold it steady.
Charlie Brown: You just want me to come running up to kick that ball so you can pull it away and see me land flat on my back and kill myself.
Lucy: This time, you can trust me. See, here’s a signed document, testifying that I promise not to pull it away.
Charlie takes the document and reads it.
Charlie: It is signed! It’s a signed document! I guess if you have a signed document in your possession, you can’t go wrong. This year I’m really gonna kick that football.
Charlie Brown runs toward Lucy, but at the last second, Lucy pulls the football away. Charlie screams as he kicks at air, landing on his back.
Lucy: Peculiar thing about this document. It was never notarized.
Charlie Brown stands up, frowning. He is humiliated.
Charlie: Woman, damn.
He takes out his Glock and pumps two bullets into Lucy’s torso.