Thursday, March 17, 2011

Celebrity Limericks

Top o’ the moanin’ to ya. Yes, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, and what better way to celebrate than by havin’ a wee bit o’ fun with celebrities, limerick-style. So sit back and enjoy some of our Celebrity Limericks – or, as we like to call ‘em, Celemricks:

Mr. Sheen, please don’t have any more refills
And stop locking hookers in closets of hotels
Here’s a torpedo of truth
Just drop the vermouth
Cause you’ve only got two-and-a-half brain cells

Mel Gibson is back in the news
But not for his reprehensible views
It’s the women he hits
Or calls “Sugartits“
This time he can’t put the blame on the Jews

Lindsay Lohan acts like a skank will
Many judges in the past she has rankled
She’s been acting quite feckless
Caught stealing a necklace
To match the court-ordered bracelet ‘round her ankle

He lives in a lodge in Sober Valley
Where he claims they have tested his pee
He’s a warlock assassin
But the only thing he’ll be cast in
After this will be Major League Three

This weird-hatted gent named Gaddafi
Says rebels put halucinogens in their coffee
He’s definitely no brainiac
But a megalomaniac
I think I’d rather go listen to Raffi

A lady who wears next to nada
Found a target with her latest saga
Some asked for redress
When she wore a meat dress
What do you expect from a lady named Gaga?

Charlie Sheen’s mind – such as it is -- is a-spinning
At the thought that the trolls are a-grinning
He’s got tiger blood in his veins
And goddesses without any brains
But it still doesn’t look like he’s winning

Lindsay Lohan, your life has imploded
And your fan-base slowly eroded
I know who killed your career
Can’t you just make it through one year
Without driving Herbie fully loaded?

His celebrity defies explanation
He’s got no talent that’s worth emulation
A smirking know-nothing Guido
Who struts around in a Speedo
a very disgusting Situation

For Justin Timberlake, relationships stink
He and Jessica have split – so we think
His social network, a hit took
Will she defriend him on Facebook?
It just doesn’t seem they’re ‘N Sync

Mel’s in deep trouble with Oksana
Then there’s Lilo with her usual drama
Charlie Sheen’s in a nosedive
He’s lost Men 2.5
What’s that called? Well of course, Winning. Duh!

1 comment:

  1. There was a teen singer called Justin,
    overrated and truly disgusting.
    But no longer in stardom,
    if you'll beg my pardon,
    he now does the cleaning and dusting.