Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture Preacher: “My bad. I forgot to carry the two.”

Saying “math was never my strong suit,” red-faced end-times preacher Harold Camping apologized to his followers tonight when the world didn’t end as he had predicted.

“It was a simple math problem,” Camping said, in a broadcast from his Oakland radio station. “I forgot to carry the 2. A little mistake like that has enormous ramifications in the Bible Code. It throws everything off. So, instead of God saying May 21 was Judgment Day, what He was actually saying was that it was Bad Judgment Day. And, when you look at all the people who believed me, and spent all their money and gave away all their worldly possessions to get ready for the Rapture – not to mention the millions of people who went to see that new ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie – it’s pretty hard to argue with Him. It was Bad Judgment Day.”

The 89-year-old number-crunching preacher has scrutinized the Bible for almost 70 years and claimed to have cracked a Bible code that told him when the Rapture would take place.

When a caller to his radio show pointed out that this marks the second time Camping has erroneously predicted the end of the world -- the first being in 1994 -- Camping responded, "Yeah, I know. What can I say? I suck at math."

Camping added that, according to his newest calculations, something called "The Rupture" is scheduled to take place on Tuesday, May 24th, but that it doesn't sound like anything to worry about.

1 comment:

  1. Dude you suck at more than math.
    But you don't suck as much as the morons that actually listened to your bullshit.