Tuesday, March 22, 2011

An Idiot Abroad (and a buffoon at home)

Sarah Palin’s on her big international trip. It’s the first time she’s flown in a plane that she wasn’t allowed to shoot something out of the window. Though the flight attendant had to tell her twice to stop trying to pry it open.

The former half-governor, who now stars in the reality show, “Alaskan Hee-Haw,” first flew to India, where she congratulated the locals on their victory over Custer. She then went to an upscale mall, where nothing cost less than $500. Palin tried on a jacket, but it didn’t fit, so she went back to her hotel.

Ex-Gov. Moosalini seemed peeved at the press coverage, snipping, “It’s just those darn Bollywood liberals doin’ what they do best.”

Palin took time, of course, to criticize President Obama’s action in Libya, telling an Indian audience: "as we travel to foreign soil, we don't criticize our President's foreign policy." She then proceeded to criticize the president’s foreign policy, calling it "dithering." Palin went on to say that, were she president, she would have bombed “Gandalf” a lot sooner.

Then it was off to Israel, where the former mayor of Wasilla prayed at the Western Wall. Palin left a note in the wall, which reportedly read: “Dear Magic Wall: Please let Todd win the big snowmobile race this year, and tell the Supreme Court to make me President. XOXO.”

Back in her home state, Palin’s favorite candidate in last November’s Senate race, perennially 5 o’clock shadowed Tea Partier Joe Miller, who came within a hair’s breadth of being elected, is having to answer questions about his affiliation with 26-year-old Alaska militia foof Schaeffer Cox.

Cox is the leader of the “Alaska Peacemaker’s Militia” -- a bunch of camo-wearing wackos arrested in an insane plot to kill judges and state troopers in the 49th state.

Here’s what Cox and his nutty militia pals were planning, according to court documents:

"The plan would then have the tactical teams going to the target's houses, cutting the power, shooting the inhabitants as they come out to check on their power; then the team would kick the target's residence's doors in, kill everybody inside and set the house on fire. Then the team would lay in hiding and take out the initial responding officer before moving on to the next target."

Making the plot more serious, Cox and his friends are also charged with possessing illegal weapons, including grenades and machine guns.

Miller, whose supporters marched with assault rifles during the campaign, and who’s been called a “close friend and associate” of Cox, says he “only became acquainted with Mr. Cox through Republican party politics.”

Is that supposed to make us feel better about Miller or the state of the Republican (Tea) party these days?

But hey, Greasy Joe’s militia connections haven’t seemed to hurt his popularity with the Tea Party crowd. He’s just signed up with Twenty-First Century Speakers, a bureau that represents, among others, Glenn Beck.

Miller has his first out-of-state gig -- an event in California with Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, and Samuel J. “Joe The Plumber" Wurzelbacher. Called "A Night With the Joe's" (a night with the Joe's what, I'm not sure. We can safely assume that it won't be A Night With the Joe's Copy Editor, since they don't seem to have one), the event is scheduled next Thursday at the home of Hollywood director Mario Pellegrini, and is sponsored by an organization devoted to defeating President Barack Obama's re-election.

"I'm excited to be working with Twenty-First Century Speakers," Miller said in a statement. "They have a wonderful reputation, and I'm anxious to be able to meet and speak with people around the country about the sort of change that I believe our nation must make to get back on track."

Like cozying up with militia-monkeys who plot to shoot judges, state troopers, their families and anyone else who gets in your way, eh, Joe?

If the fact that this stubbled buffoon is actually making money spreading his brand of “change” through speaking engagements with fake plumbers isn’t enough to frighten you, then perhaps this is: Miller actually won Alaska’s Senate Republican primary last year, defeating Lisa Murkowski, who then had to wage an unprecedented write-in campaign to beat Miller in the general election. By just 10,000 votes. Ten-thousand more votes, and Joe Miller would have been a United States Senator.

God bless America.


  1. This reminds me. Have you seen the YouTube of the chimp doing a frog? Seriously. I don't know why this reminds me. It just does.

  2. And by "doing the frog," you of course mean some sort of dance, right?

  3. Oh, sweet mother of God. Froggie went a courtin' and he was raped, uh-huh....