Thursday, September 13, 2012

Romney: ‘I should have consulted Herman Cain on Libya’

One day after his colossal Libya blunder, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney conceded his mistake, and said he should have consulted former rival Herman Cain before shooting his mouth off.  

“Let me be perfectly clear,” Romney said. “Herman Cain made a complete fool of himself last November when he was asked about Libya. But compared to me, he looks like Winston Churchill. Consequently, I probably should have consulted Herman before I spoke.”

In an interview with The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel editorial board last November, Cain struggled to answer a question about U.S. foreign policy toward Libya.

“Okay, Libya,” said Cain, glancing up. Then, after a nine second (yes, nine full seconds) pause, he asked, “President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just wanted to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘Yes, I agreed. No, I didn’t agree,’” said Cain.

“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason,” Cain started, before cutting himself off. “Nope, that’s a different one.” Cain shifted in his chair, adjusted his jacket, and looked up again for another nine (yes, nine more) seconds, before adding: “I got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”  

“Herman Cain looked like a buffoon on that day,” Romney said. “But at least he had the good sense to just hem and haw and stare off into space. I would have been a lot better off if I had done that, rather than jumping the gun and shooting off my big bazoo the way I did. Consequently, I have appointed Mr. Cain as my chief foreign policy advisor, and will refer any further questions about the middle east to the former president of Godfather’s Pizza. God knows, he can't do any more damage than I've been doing.”  

Asked to comment, Cain said, “I’ll be fine, as long as nobody asks me who the president of Uzbeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan is.”  

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