Thursday, February 17, 2011

FOX News reporter suffers on-air stroke, tells truth

FOX News Reporter Pucker Nash was live on “The O’Reilly Factor” Wednesday evening when he apparently suffered a stroke on the air. The otherwise young, healthy looking Nash was responding to a question from O’Reilly about President Obama’s handling of Egypt when his speech suddenly became fact-based and truthful.
After O’Reilly accused Obama of being a secret Muslim and working behind the scenes to put the Muslim Brotherhood into power in Egypt, Nash suffered an unsettling on-camera speaking problem.
“That’s exactly what we didn’t find, Bill,” he said, smiling broadly. But his smile disappeared as his speech devolved into a series of surprisingly comprehensible and factual utterances. “Obama is clearly a Christian and this Obama’s-a-Muslim talk is just completely off-the-rails loony-tunes, wackadoodle stuff. I mean, during the campaign you were blathering about how Obama was all palsy-walsy with Reverend Wright, who is a Christian minister, and now you want to say he’s a Muslim?” Nash showed obvious distress as he continued speaking the truth, his face drooping on the right side and his eyes darting about in a confused fashion. “The truth is, Bill, that you’re a self-absorbed, egotistical blowhard who wouldn’t know a fact if it burst in on you in the shower and loofahd your backside.”
At first glance, it appeared to be a simple case of stage fright, but doctors say it looks more like symptoms of a stroke that was caught on live television.
Hugh Smegma, a FOX spokesman, gave the following statement: “Pucker Nash was examined by paramedics on scene immediately after his segment on the Bill O’Reilly show. His vital signs were normal. He was not hospitalized. As a precautionary measure, a colleague gave him a ride home and he says that he is feeling fine this morning. We’re happy to report that the hate-filled, fact-free FOX talking points are flowing like normal from Mr. Nash’s mouth again. Pucker apologized to Mr. O’Reilly for his sudden attack of truthfulness and intelligence, and wants to assure all of us here at FOX and our viewers at home that this kind of honest commentary will never happen again.”
“It was scary,” Nash said, speaking from his home. “I don’t know what happened. I was just reading the FOX talking points as usual, you know, Obama’s a Muslim, he hates America, the usual stuff. But the words were coming out wrong. For some reason the truth was coming out of my mouth. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know how I can show my face around FOX News again. My only hope is that Mr. Murdoch can forgive me and let me keep my job.”

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