Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Romney’s Gaffe Out Loud Tour Continues; Candidate Lands in Boston, Insults Rhode Island

Following his gaffe-a-minute international tour, in which he managed to insult England and infuriate the Palestinians, Mitt Romney returned to the U.S. today. After his plane touched down in Boston, Romney told a group of reporters: “It’s good to be back on American soil, though I had a wonderful time visiting with my Anglo-Saxon friends, with whom we share a special relationship that truly spans the years. My trip was a great success, although there were a few things that were disconcerting about the flight back. Number one is the food on the aircraft. They served me some cookies that didn’t look too good. I think they must have come from the local 7-Eleven or something. Number two was the service. I question whether some of the stewardesses were actually American. I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake, I can’t have illegals serving me cheap cookies from 7-Eleven! But number three, are the people of the United States ready to watch the Olympics? And that’s something we only find out about once the ratings come in.”

Romney next made a stop at Breed’s Hill, site of the famous Revolutionary War battle known as The Battle of Bunker Hill, where he gave a brief campaign speech.

"As you come here and you see the GDP per capita, for instance, in Massachusetts, which is about $58,000 dollars, and compare that with the GDP per capita in Rhode Island, which is more like $45,000 per capita … If you could learn anything it's this: Culture makes all the difference," Romney told supporters. "And as I look out over this city and consider the accomplishments of the people of Massachusetts, I recognize the power of culture. We’re the home of Paul Revere, Norman Rockwell, Marvin Hagler – Marvelous Marvin -- and Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, and a close personal friend of mine. The Red Sox, Fenway Park. Beantown. And the trees are just the right height here. Rhode Island – what do they have? One of the minor Rockefellers and those brothers who made the movie Dumb and Dumber. Oh, sure, Newport Yacht Club has some nice little boats, nothing too spectacular."

As aides hustled Romney away, reporters shouted questions at him, which prompted campaign press secretary Rick Gorka to snap, “Kiss my ass! This is a holy site to the Massachusetts people. Show some respect, you piece of $#@*!”

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