Tuesday, June 21, 2011

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Blog

This week, Jaws turns 36 years old. Yes, on June 20, 1975, the movie that made an entire generation fill their swim trunks with fear was released. So Happy Birthday, you giant man-eating killing machine! In honor of this jawspicious event, we’re declaring this Shark Week here at the Wedgie. And we’re kicking it off with these lame shark jokes:

Q: What’s green and gross and lives under the sea?
A: Shark boogers!

Q: What was the shark's favorite Pixar movie?
A: Eating Nemo

Q: What did the shark order at McDonalds?
A: A quarter flounder with cheese.

Q: Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws.

Q: What would happen if Jaws ate Harry Potter?
A: You’d get a movie called “The Wizard of Jaws.”

Q: How do you shoot a blue shark?
A: With a blue shark spear gun.

Q: How do you shoot a great white shark?
A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.

Uhh, okay, those jokes really bite. But here’s a totally jawesome story about the making of “Jaws,” from IMDB.com:

During pre-production, director Steven Spielberg, accompanied by friends Martin Scorsese, George Lucas and John Milius, visited the effects shop where "Bruce" (the mechanical shark used in the movie) was being constructed. Lucas stuck his head in the shark's mouth to see how it worked and, as a joke, Milius and Spielberg sneaked to the controls and made the jaw clamp shut on Lucas' head. Unfortunately the shark malfunctioned, and Lucas got stuck in the mouth of the shark. When Spielberg and Milius were finally able to free him, the four men ran out of the workshop, afraid they'd done major damage to the creature.

Michael Caine, who stars in Jaws: The Revenge ("This Time It’s Personal!"), on the movie:
"I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

And, finally, one more jaws-droppingly bad joke:

Q: What did the shark find in Davey Jones’ locker?
A: Smelly gym shorts!


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